Chronic pain

 I wanna scream and shout!

I am not having such a grand day today.  Seeing how I did not sleep well at night because of heavy pains in my muscles.  It is bad enough for me not to be able to sit up well, or even walk normally.  To me it isn’t that unusual, but it hasn’t been this bad in years.  So to be honest, the always smiling mommy was crying while carrying her son down the stairs this morning.

Sometimes, these days make y58lYDVmou really wanna give up, shout and scream.  On other occasions you just want to fight and be stubborn.  Today?  I am just going with the flow.  I need to think about other stuff and try to move if I can.  But to be honest, I think I will be in pain for the rest of the weekend.

That’s a pity though because, tomorrow my son has his first ever school event.  Being with the smallest ones, luckily we don’t have to practice a lot of patience.  But I will probably be as proud of a mom as ever.  After that my boyfriend and our Malinois, will be partaking in a competition of obedience.  The have been at it for some time, but seeing how it’s close to home, I really wanted to go and have a look.  I hope they will do well, so we have lots of things to be joyful about.  But no matter what I am very happy they all are enjoying what they like to do.

I wish I could do so many things, but sometimes, it is better not to think of what is hard, but to think about what is most enjoyed.  So I will bite my pains and scream if necessary, but I will make sure to be there on the sidelines, to cheer for my boys.  Cause that is the only thing I can feel joy of at this moment. And that is also the job and privilege of a mother and a partner in life!


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