Self restraint vs self awareness !?
If there is a cookie on the table, do you absolutely, without fail, walk over and push the sugary substance in your mouth? Or do you have self restraint? (do look at the youtube video below. This is how we tried to explain restraint to our son.)
It’s a thought I had yesterday, while reading the press’s article about a statement the mayor of Keulen, Germany, gave.
Let me explain.
She was talking about a code of conduct for woman. Dress like this and act like that,…
She was probably trying to warn women, like my mom used to when my dresses were short or my tops were even shorter. Thinking that you have to be sensible when going out. Expect certain reactions and anticipate, by not being alone, have a phone, whistle or perfume ready in your hand.
However, the way she might have meant it, did not come trough the article or the words she used.
I might not always agree with the fashion statements some people make, but that doesn’t mean it is alright for others do do what they please.
Show a little restraint. Be respectful. No, the situation there was extreme, and needs to be dealt with firmly, so they know this is not tolerated. But sexual, uncomfortable situations happen more often then any of us may think. Even I encounter it once in a while.
Two weeks ago, I was at my volunteer job. I teach people how to work with a computer. Most of the people that visit me are elderly. But this time an older, neat man, that had been coming for several weeks made a comment that made me feel uncomfortable. He made a comment on my breast size. I shoved the whole thing under the rug by saying that it was a result of having two beautiful children and a loving boyfriend.
But the comment made me wear a larger shawl next time. So I could hide my,… bigger sized, baby feeding, always in the way, milk making machines.
It’s a small comment, that wasn’t meant bad, but made me feel so …. wrong. And that’s just a small, not badly meant, comment, I can’t even imagine how those women in Keulen must have felt being grabbed all over.
So to the women who read this, I want to ask, do stuff like this really happen that often around us and are we unnecessary attracting this attention to us?
And to the men I would like to ask: Is it hard to show self restraint? (serious question, I find it hard to imagine) Are we drawing your eyes and attention to …..?