I might be going insane. Together with the weather changes, my body seems to be on a melt down. And although I voice my pain and tiredness a lot, I always bite trough it.
- As a mom I do not take many breaks. And it’s not like a vacation is that relaxing for me.
- As a volunteer I try to help others that have a bigger baggage then I do and If I’m not well every one is understanding.
- And as a writer I am just too stubborn. I have given up on so many things I love , but this is one I refuse to let go!
I need to find a balance between these important things. But until I find that I need to survive.
Three things I do to help me get past it:
- Food: me energy drops drastically every now and then. My body seems to scream for sugar and cafeïne at that moment. It has rather little effect, but the fact is: I need to get up, to satisfy that need. And the combination of stretching, fresh air, the smell of coffee and a portion of sugar is just what this old shell needs.
- Inspiration: When I’m feeding children, changing diapers, making soup, I think about my story and characters. I use what I feel and see to find new inspiration. It gives me ideas and I write them down as soon as I have my hands free. By the end of the day, they are usually scribbled out and used.
- Hugs: there is nothing more healing than a hug! My kids love it, my boyfriend enjoys it. So I hug,… a lot! I even have a hugging pillow. It doesn’t physically heal me, but my mind get’s a refreshment and I feel like I can struggle on a little more.
A question some do ask me is: Why do you keep doing it if it’s this hard? The answer is easy. Because It’s this hard, because I love it, because I need it to push my boundaries. Some might understand, others may not.
My lesson? Give it all you got if it’s what you want to do. Excuses for why something doesn’t work, is just that. An excuse. No matter if it’s true or an exaggeration. Keep pushing boundaries so when someone asks you how your doing. You can answer: Not as I had hoped, but I’m giving it all I’ve got!
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