How Nano and Pixar made me a fool!

NaNoWriMo posted:

 Because who wouldn’t want to learn about storytelling from the amazing artists and directors at Pixar (for free!)?
https://techcrunch.com/…/pixar-offers-free-online-lessons…/…

If I had known I’ d be crying my heart out in the shower an hour later, I wouldn’t have checked it out!

I’ll explain.  The ‘art of storytelling’ first lesson, is about how a lot of storytellers, take an emotion, something from their own life, that they want to share.

My thoughts at the time:
Nope, not me.  I’m actually using writing, to escape my dreadful life.  And I have no guilt, telling you the truth.  THIS IS WHY I WRITE.  To have a vacation from myself.

So I went into the shower and think about the project I’m working on and like the water it suddenly hit me: My MC and me are soooooo two peas in a pod (hope that’s the right frase)!  It was like an anvil had hit my head! For all the epiphany’s I’ve ever had, this one topped it with ease.

char: See my character can’t be her true self.  And she feels like she is losing parts of herself.  So she says she’s no longer the same person.  To fix that she adapts, giving herself new meaning (even a new name and purpose).  And fixating on that she forgets her grief.

Me: I’m doing a workshop about working with chronic pain. On Monday we were talking about what we’ve lost.  Guess what I said.
Yes!  I said I feel like I have lost myself.  I feel I am no longer the same person. And that I am coping by giving myself a new use (being a mom).  Maybe even fixating on that too much.
Does it ring a bell?  I promise, it was a coincidence, I never realized what I was doing.
The question that followed left me in tears for a long time.  Mainly because I don’t have  a clue  for what the answer should be:    I understand it’s not healthy, but what now?
So yes!  NaNoWriMo and Pixar are truly horrible.  Just awful, making me think about myself.  And making me cry.  What an idiot I have been!
(If you can’t here the dripping sounds of sarcasm, I apologize!)
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